Going Through SXSW Withdrawals

The withdrawal syndrome immediately following the final panel presentation of SXSSW Interactive creates an immediate abstinence. Physical symptoms of this early stage seem to depend on the activity of a part of the brainstem called the locus coeruleus. SXSW has been known to depress this area and it would therefore be expected to become hyperactive during withdrawal. Constant Twittering before boarding planes or immediately upon arrival keeps the area semi-stimulated. The sufferer constantly looks down at a small electronic device (most likely an iPhone) while walking in small circles or wavy forward paths. Increased agitation will increase and swearing similar to Turrets syndrome patients may occur and this may be due to sporadic wireless connectivity. The locus coeruleus is an important center in the brain's fear-alarm system, and such hyperactivity would be consistent with the marked anxiety and agitation withdrawing addicts report. Unfortunately for withdrawing addicts, other conferences beside the SXSW can't stimulate this region with the same intencity. True replication of the feelings can only occur once a year in March.

Detoxification is usually accomplished by giving decreasing doses of Twitter sessions followed by rituals of standing in long lines for free beer.

The author goes on to say, "the duration of early abstinence depends on the conference's rate of elimination and in the case of SXSW most major symptoms should be gone within seven to ten days."