On This First Day of Spring...Breathe

Here is one of the books I'm currently reading. Ultra Longevity by Mark Liponis.

Which includes... 1. Breathe: Proper breathing is the way to access the automatic functions of your body and send a peaceful message to your immune system.

Which leads you to wonder how clean your outdoor air is. Texas Commission on Environmental Quality & AirNow

And also leads us to clean up our indoor air. Kamal Meattle breaks it down what you need to do in his brief TED lecture.

Which should get us to make changes to adopt these behaviors;

• Exercise outdoors in the morning when the air is cleaner.


• Purchase and maintain more indoor plants.


• Monitor the air when spending a length of time outdoors. Did you know on this beautiful first day of spring in Austin that the forecast calls for moderate levels of Ozone today?


• Make sure you select the Air Recirculate button on your car's AC system when in traffic so you're not breathing the exhaust from the car in front of you.

Going Through SXSW Withdrawals

The withdrawal syndrome immediately following the final panel presentation of SXSSW Interactive creates an immediate abstinence. Physical symptoms of this early stage seem to depend on the activity of a part of the brainstem called the locus coeruleus. SXSW has been known to depress this area and it would therefore be expected to become hyperactive during withdrawal. Constant Twittering before boarding planes or immediately upon arrival keeps the area semi-stimulated. The sufferer constantly looks down at a small electronic device (most likely an iPhone) while walking in small circles or wavy forward paths. Increased agitation will increase and swearing similar to Turrets syndrome patients may occur and this may be due to sporadic wireless connectivity. The locus coeruleus is an important center in the brain's fear-alarm system, and such hyperactivity would be consistent with the marked anxiety and agitation withdrawing addicts report. Unfortunately for withdrawing addicts, other conferences beside the SXSW can't stimulate this region with the same intencity. True replication of the feelings can only occur once a year in March.

Detoxification is usually accomplished by giving decreasing doses of Twitter sessions followed by rituals of standing in long lines for free beer.

The author goes on to say, "the duration of early abstinence depends on the conference's rate of elimination and in the case of SXSW most major symptoms should be gone within seven to ten days."

SXSW talk by Gary Vaynerchuk

http://garyvaynerchuk.com/post/86998558/gary-vaynerchuks-sxsw-keynote

Clearly the best friggin' presentation I saw at SXSW this year and it's on the net.

SXSW 2009 Behind Me

SXSW 2009 is over. Here are a few observations and tips I hope to follow next year at SXSWi.

1. Buy more laptop batteries. It's worth it not to have to look for power outlets and then be tethered.
2. The bigger the room for the speaker does not always mean they're a better speaker. Sometimes SXSW scheduling messes up. Suckage can occur in a BIG room. Witness Mark Zuckerberg/ Sarah Lacy Interview From SXSW 2008. Also, the Hilton was used as spillover for a reason. ;)
3. There's a lot to say about taking just an iPod Touch or iPhone and a notebook and a phone. Accessing the sxsw.mobi worked well to look at the schedule. Checking email is overrated. It can wait until the evening. Otherwise, if emergency, there's always someone's laptop or a community laptop.
4. Take a phone with Internet apps as the wireless is questionable. Sprint worked better than AT&T every day of the conference. In defense I think that was the largest concentration of iPhones ever within a two block area.
5. Try to do more small discussions with others at a pub like on Monday night. Sitting around drinking beer and talking about code, design, writing works better than struggling for free beer underneath tents where hookups or introductions are rarely made.
6. Take advantage of the free yoga as that was the best improvement to SXSW this year. It set me up for the rest of the day.
7. Getting to the Convention Center early each day for yoga allowed me to find reasonably close FREE parking.
8. Do the homework on the speakers. I spent one night reading the profiles and session descriptions but I needed to look in more detail. Maybe even their last year's rating if available. Maybe even ask through Twitter or blog other's recommendations.
9. Taking my own aluminum water bottle worked great. Do it again.

SXSW: Some Tweets I found

techupdate: Lifehacker: Get 6GB of Free Music from SXSW '09 [Deals] : Looking for a whole lot of new, free music?.. http://tinyurl.com/c77ptq (expand)

mattbeckman: RT: Joomla beats out Drupal + Wordpress in the #sxsw showdown: #cmssmackdown #drupal #joomla #wordpress http://tr.im/huay

upicksRT @murnahan: 99 Essential #Twitter Tools And Applications http://is.gd/nHFw (WOW this list is amazingly long)

brianoberkirch RT @monstro So So we went a little (ok, a LOT) over our bar budget last night. Any chance you can help us out? http://32bit.chipin.com/

SXSW: Tuesday Keynote: Chris Anderson / Guy Kawasaki Conversation

Updates
2:44 Micropayments. Why they won't work is that there's a big difference between 0.00 and 0.01 (1 cent). It's not the money, it's the flag that goes up when there's any cost that causes an evaluation of the value.
2:42 Copyright and lack of it in China. "China is the future of free" If you don't make your product free the pirates will make it free for you. Give it away, create celebrity and then figure a way to monetize the celebrity.
2:40 Game space model is interesting like Club Penguin. Where 95% free versus 5% paid is where companies can make a profit. Ex. 37 Signals.
2:30 discussing freemium model. Quicktime versus QuickTime Pro is a good example of the freemium model.
2:15 discussing Quid Pro Quo. A twitter follow in exchange for a PDF of a book.
2:00 Chris: Paper still matters. Books still matter. Digital forms of content should be free or close to it as the costs are near $0. Physical books should have a cost as they cost $ to produce or be subsidized by ads or sponsors. Twitter stream for this panel is #sxswfree

Room A
Tuesday, March 17th

2:00 pm - 3:00 pm

In 2006, Chris Anderson introduced the concept of the Long Tail. His soon-to-be released book will talk about the power of free. Will his theories stand up to the tough questions of venture Silicon Valley venture capitalist Guy Kawasaki?

Chris Anderson Wired Magazine

Guy Kawasaki CEO, Alltop

SXSW: UR Blog Sux and Print is Dead

Updates
12:00 Heather says she never gets a break. Blog is always there and always needs to be attended to.
11:57 Lander had a good experience with the publisher and process.
11:55 Miller is self proclaimed ADD.
11:50 Heather (Dooce) has a short attention span movies 1:40 or less, doesn't read books, likes magazines and sees herself more like a sprinter than a marathoner. The book was difficult. Doesn't want to do it again. Definite blogger.
11:43 Lander doesn't engage with haters. Huh and Miller respond. Dooce has received scary email.
11:40 the base level of personality on the Web is deuche bag (Ben Huh)
11:37 Lander's site grew very fast and it was all based on a joke.
11:33 Dealing with haters. Anonymizer is good with regards to domain registration.
11:30 This one is going to be wild. They've all received death threats, suspicious packages at odd times of the night.

Room 18BCD

Tuesday, March 17th

11:30 am - 12:30 pm

How to make the most of your blog's "overnight success" (get a book deal! quit your day job!) without letting anonymous commenters make you hate yourself in the process.

Ben Huh CEO, I Can Has Cheezburger?

Christian Lander Writer, Stuff White People Like

Kerry Miller passiveaggressivenotes.com

Heather Armstrong Pres, Blurbodoocery Inc

Ana Marie Cox Natl Correspondent, Air America

SXSW: Is Aristotle on Twitter?

Updates
10:18 I'm audio recording this panel as they're moving way to fast through abstract ideas to digest and post. Either that or the lack of caffeine combined with a great yoga session has left me limp and incapable of neural firing.

Room B

Tuesday, March 17th

10:00 am - 11:00 am

We introduce a framework for understanding information overload by reflecting on and updating ancient communicative traditions. Aristotle was an information maven and Cicero a communication connoisseur. These classical communicators designed their speeches around five principles: invention, style, arrangement, memory, and delivery. Contemporary communicators build on this tradition with Web-based technologies.

Jillian Sayre University of Texas at Austin

Jim Brown University of Texas at Austin

John Jones University of Texas at Austin

Trish Roberts-Miller Assoc Professor, University of Texas at Austin

William Burdette Asst Instructor, University of Texas at Austin

Going Old School

For the rest of the day I'm taking notes with pen and paper. I'm still recording the audio but my laptop is almost out of juice and I need to sit in a chair to listen to Bruce Sterling in a few minutes. Getting juice for the laptop means inserting myself into the pack of geeks sitting next to a power outlet.

SXSW: Beyond Aggregation- Finding the Web's Best Content

Hard to grade this one. It did suffer from being a panel, where the panelists are cautious and guarding their answers. I'll have to review the audio clip to see if there's really anything there.

Updates:
10:45 audience questions.
10:43 Serching within records by pasting into Google.com/cse
10:41 check out Post Rank and Regulator. Also Twitter real-time search in Google. Maybe an install?
10:32 people ditching this panel. room still full. these panelists are smart but not giving it up. Spoiled yesterday with Gary Vaynerchuk spilling his sole onstage.
10:29 There's a listing feature in FriendFeed that allows this panelist to group discussions and filter.
10:18 It's a good thing I'm recording the audio of this session as one of the panelist is spewing tech speak so fast I can't tell what he's saying.
10:16 A little slow this morning getting my tools going. Yoga session a few minutes ago released an energy channel that has my head tingling.

Room Hilton A
Monday, March 16th 10:00 am - 11:00 am

RSS aggregation has reduced the massive ocean of Web content into something more manageable, but we are still left overloaded with information and manual searching. This panel will explore new avenues for finding the Web's best content, and how this more intelligent Web will affect major media companies, online publishers and consumers. We have confirmed Marshall Kirkpatrick of ReadWriteWeb as a moderator. Marshall Kirkpatrick VP Content Dev, ReadWriteWeb
Louis Gray Author/Publisher, louisgray.com
Gabe Rivera Founder/CEO, Techmeme
Melanie Baker Community Mgr, AideRSS Inc
Micah Baldwin VP Business Dev, Lijit Networks Inc

SXSW: Video Blogging: Turning Wine into Gold

This was easily the best panel so far. A++++++. The lack of juice forced me to write notes. I'll post them at lunch tomorrow.

Room A
Sunday, March 15th

5:00 pm - 6:00 pm

Gary will be discussing his knowledge and expertise about video blogging and self branding in the ever growing world of online video blogging. This can be done through a Q&A or a live taping of the WLTV at SXSW 2009, followed by a Q&A. Gary's rabid fan base will generate a lot of energy and attention at the festival.

Gary Vaynerchuk Host/Founder, Wine Library TV

Jenna Wortham Staff Reporter, New York Times

SXSW: From Flickr and Beyond: Lessons in Community Management

Ok presentation. Maybe a grade of B.

Updates
Good advice to focus on the comment and the specific reasons why it was removed. "You're free to repost you comment without the line, 'I'm going to hunt you down and kick your ass.'"
4:16 As with last presentation, one must engage within the community. This means you have to comment on other sites, post information, share, blah, blah, blah that we know should happen but we rarely do. It seems to be successful there is a need to focus on a smaller and smaller niche so that it's a recognized community. Bonzai tree photography in black and white of trees 4 - 8 inches with pointed leaves and roots exposed. Niche enough? Thinking..........
4:04 Flickr. Value in knowing when to be quiet when you recognize when "you know someone is digging a hole to Crazytown."
4:03 remove content with transparency in the process.
4:00 This proving to be a difficult area for companies to deal with. Stressful for employees dealing with the haters/trolls.
3:30 HOW DO THINGS CHANGE GOING FROM A SMALL COMPANY TO A LARGER COMPANY? Metafilter: smaller means everyone are in agreement on content but when growth happens it's difficult to appease everyone and policies are created. Etsy: People get less forgiving as growth happens.

PRESENTERS

• Heather Champ - Dir of Community, Flickr
• Mario Anima - Dir of Online Community, Current TV
• Matthew Stinchcomb - VP Community, Etsy Inc
• Jessamyn West - Dir of Operations, MetaFilter
• Micah Schaffer - No title, YouTube

DESCRIPTION

Companies across industries are developing and fostering online communities, recognizing the benefits of connecting with customers on the Web. Unfortunately, not all communities thrive to become a successful vehicle for businesses. Leaders of top online communities from Flickr to Facebook will discuss top best practices for managing online communities.

SXSW: Making Whuffie: Raising Social Capital in Online Communities

This was a solid B presentation. I didn't get wow but I got some good reminders of what I need to do presented well by a good presenter. Tara clearly knows what she's talking about.

Updates

12:00 "#2 Participate. Get involved in the community you serve. Who is your audience? What problem are you solving? and who has that problem. Join them. Authenticity matters. Why should they give a darn? Create amazing customer experiences which makes connections. 11 things to create experiences. 1. Dazzle is in the details. Ex. Moleskin. Loves it. Just a notebook yet has a great following because of the details and the story. 2. Go above and beyond. Zappos. Vosges chocolate truffles. Tells a story while serving a truffle and she ends up eating five of them while listening to the story. 3. Appeal to the emotion. 4. Inject fun into the experience. Ex. virgin Airlines. Ex. Flickr i.e. talk like a pirate day. 5. Make something mundane fashionable. This is what I call the Seinfeld effect. 6. Let people personalize. Ex. Moo Cards - pesonalized cards. Ex. Threadless. Everytime someone says, "Wouldn't it be cool if.....They then act on that making it a reality. Turns into I park like an idiot.com. Ex. Basecamp project management tool. "I don't have to know what a Gantt chart is to do project management. "Doesn't get in the way. 9. Make happiness your business model -Autonomy -relatedness -confidence -? 10. Be social catalyst. Ex. Intuit nobody interacts unless they have to...meetings. #4 Whuffie Way. Embrace the Chaos. 7 ways to embrace the chaos. 1. stop moving until you can see clearly. 2. transfer the knowledge. 3. Acknowledge anxiety. 4. Define your own measure of success. 5. Get outside of your personal circle. 6. Realize everything is out of your control. 7. Have patience. The more whuffie you give away the more you get in return. #5 in the whuffie way. Find your higher purpose. Five 5 gifts to get you there. 1. Doing well by doing good. Ex. Stonyfield Farms. 2. Think customer-centric. 3. Allow sending to other Web sites links. 4. Spread love Ex. Halcyon's Hugnation. 5. ?
11:45 "Turn bullhorn inwards. 8 Commandments. Design for broader community. Observe what people want to do. Respond to all feedback no matter how rediculous. Don't take negative feedback personally. #4 give credit to those that influence. New component highlight it and ask for feedback. #6 make small continuous changes rather than everything at once. #7 go out and find feedback. # Don't feed the haters or trolls.
11:31 She's doing the rapid-fire presentation of slides like Lawrence Lessig based on changes in keywords and the keywords are on the slide. Showing a FriendWheel graphic. Her followers/friends represented in a wheel graphic. "Can't buy Whuffie. Build connections and credibility." She'll be posting the presentation online @ slideshare.net/missrogue.

Ballroom A
11:30 am

PRESENTERS

• Tara Hunt - Intuit

DESCRIPTION

This talk gets to the heart of how people interact and exchange information in online communities: through social capital, or as Cory Doctorow calls it, Whuffie. The key to growing customers in online communities is through growing your social capital. You will learn the 5 lessons of raising Whuffie through online communities in this presentation.

SXSW: Yoga

Wonderful for a second day. It gets the day started correctly. My bones cracked little more this morning.

SXSW: Designing the Future of The New York Times

Grade F for FAIL. This was a standing room only crowd in a Hilton ballroom. They promoted the panel as to where they are going in the next couple of years. Instead they did a classic bait and switch and talked about themselves and history and design. Dang. I think I was most disgusted with the comment that a newspaper's disposability was an asset. Hello, does "Green Movement" cause any bells to go off in your head?

He also said that information doesn't change in the newspaper's content. Once printed that's it, it's done and somehow he eluded to digital content changing all the time.

Listening to these two I get the feeling I'm watching a cartoon in my head where two cavemen are discussing how they made fire with flint shards and dried moss. These guys are toast and they know it. They don't know what the answer is or the NYTimes would be making millions instead of losing money.

As has been suggested with the U.S. automakers, I think these cavemen corporations need to be dismantled and reassembled.

It's sad because I once loved the NYTimes. Ever since the content became questionable (Vitamin Pills: A False Hope?) a few weeks ago did I look away for alternatives.

Updates
5:25 I'm out. I can't take it any longer.
5:20 History and now design. Not a word about where they will go in the next two years as they hemorrhage as much cash as a Big Three automaker. I think they need to be saved as well. Jeez.
5:10 Still history now it's the other guys turn. He's showing really old personal Web sites. Can't. Last. Much. Longer.
5:00 Interesting. They're starting with a personal history. Starting with the past to lead to the future? Oh God, he's going all the way back to his college days of print. Must. hold. on.

PRESENTERS

• Tom Bodkin - The New York Times
• Khoi Vinh - The New York Times

DESCRIPTION

What will the nation's newspaper of record look like in the coming years? Learn about the continuing efforts of old media to reinvent its look, its feel and its mission.

SXSW: The Future Of Social Networks

I'll have to listen to the rest of Charlene's presentation online. she does a very good job as a presenter but today I think I'd read or heard most of the stuff she was talking about. I left early to avoid the crowds in the restroom. There's no grade on this one.

Updates
3:44 Every laptop I've glanced I've only seen Twitter. No signs of Facebook.
3:30 That Cuban sandwich was so good at lunch but it was so big. Should've eaten half.

PRESENTERS

• Charlene Li - Altimeter Group

DESCRIPTION

Social networks will be like air, in that they will permeate everything that we do online AND offline. We'll look at the underlying technologies that will make this possible, how it will evolve, and the business models that will support it.

SXSW: Opening Remarks Keynote

Updates
2:52: @zappos
2:50: Book recommendations; Happiness Hypothesis, Peak, The 4-hour work week
2:45: "chase the vision, not the money."
2:40: Tony's the CEO of Zappos and he's presenting in a black t-shirt and black hoody.
2:27: juice @ about 5%. need to update when I have a power outlet. powering down.
2:12: A year return policy. Dang!
2:10: Zappos about being the best at customer service
note: just looked at my sxsw twitter stream 21,897 msgs since 12:30p!
2:05: Tony queried the audience as too how many are customers. HUGE.

PRESENTERS

• Tony Hsieh - Zappos.com

DESCRIPTION

At Zappos.com, Tony Hsieh has fostered a culture where extraordinary customer service is the norm. Hear him talk about how good deeds can help you leverage the power of your audience to massively extend your brand.

SXSW: Change v2

LL is always solid. Inspirational. I grade this one-man show an A. Keep up the great work Lawrence.

Updates
12:14: audience questions. congressman conyers, huffington post piece. check out.
12:06: Al Gore --- In order to solve the environmental crisis we have to solve the gov't crisis.
12:04: change-congress.org LL's new issue.
11:52: politicians as addicts and the amount of influence of lobbyists have
11:50: maplight.org
11:45: Junk science how Gov't gets wrong b/c guided by something other than reason...dependencies which ties back to the money buys influence which breads corruption discussion.
11:43: L.L. showing how USA backed down on 10% daily sugar intake recommendation and was persuaded to change it to 25% by the sugar industry.

Lawrence Lessig is one of my favorite presenters. He has a new issue. Let's here what he has to say.

PRESENTERS

• Lawrence Lessig - Stanford Law School

DESCRIPTION

Obama has awoken a once in a century passion for reform. What will it take to make it work? What would "work" mean?

SXSW: IM Video Journalism

Excellent presentation A+. Great presenter. David shared tips and was humorous. This is what SXSW is about. Great job David!

Updates
10:59: audience questions.
10:57: "It's not about the gear." But David mentioned various cameras.
10:56: http://viewmag.blogspot.com
10:55: http://twitter.com/viewmagazine
10:46: "we're at a point now for video journalism similar to the change to the art world when Monet, Van Gogh and Manet blew apart perspective and the traditional thinking of how art was made and thought of."
10:29: "Small cuts and shoot with the edits in mind."
10:27: "The net has yet to be colonized yet a to how news is gathered."
10:20: David just showed how he produces 3 shots with same interview plus an establishing shot. I shot it on the Flip.
10:00a: Feel great after the 45-minute yoga session. By getting here that early I got a great free parking spot. :)

Room 12A
Time: 10:00 am

PRESENTERS David Dunkley Gyimah - Univeristy Westminster DESCRIPTION: With video online all the rage, UK-based international award winning video journalist David Dunkley Gyimah deconstructs video journalism and posits his cinematic brand known as IMVJ. Described by Apple Pro as a one man hurricane http://www.apple.com/uk/pro/profiles/gyimah/ Ex BBC David talks technique, workflow, and swift turnaround factual feature making.

SXSW: Try Making Yourself More Interesting

Grade D+. If it hadn't been for Amit on the panel this would've been a total failure, Amit A-, rest of panel C-, Kristina F.

Updates:
5:46p: Packing up as are many others.
5:31p. Now on to Brain Traffic with Kristina Halvorson. She mentioned the word "awesome" way too many times. Hey! try intreaging instead. Now she's sounds like a Web 1.0 presentation circa 1996.
5:27p: Amit Gupta gets it with his Jelly project and photojojo. Good sharing. Does cool social experiments. Good tricks to monetize.
5:24p: showing Get Satisfaction site. Doesn't relate.
5:17p: showing the bike hugger site.
5:10p: Second panel to talk about threadless
5:06 p. Big ballroom, plenty of room unlike the last session.

5:00 pm
Ballroom A

Google Map

PRESENTERS

• DL Byron - Bike Hugger
• Amit Gupta - Photojojo
• Brian Oberkirch - Small Good Thing
• David Rees - mnftiu.cc
• Kristina Halvorson - Brain Traffic

DESCRIPTION

There are no cheat codes for community. No Charles Atlas shortcuts to make your pet project the one to rule them all. Want people to think you're awesome? Be awesome. This panel promises a bullshit-free look at how you might tune out the jibber jabber, tune in to those who matter, put your head down and make your online service a little bit more epic each day. We'll dissect Bike Hugger, Photojojo, Metafilter, and other examples of Web charm for what *you* can do. Today, and tomorrow. And the day after. Which is how you will become what you want to be.

SXSW: The Ecosystem of News

Grade B+. Good sharing of information. I see that more with a single person presenting sometimes. Panels need several things to make it good. they have to be in sync and have a good moderator. This presentation was solo and the presenter was good.

Updates:
4:31p: over. said he'll post talk.
4:00p: audience questions.
3:59p: "all the news that's fit to link."
3:55p: showing twitter-stream map where #sxsw is picked up and what they're talked about is then mapped.
3:51p: Traditional media still mattered in election coverage of 2008. "Old Growth Media"
3:45p: After the newspapers fail will the blogosphere get out of bed and start a Iraq field office?
3:40p: setting the stage for how much faster news is published. Started with MacWorld and then webzines.
3:30p: packed room. standing room only.

Room 12B @ 3:30 pm

PRESENTERS

• Steven Johnson - outside.in

DESCRIPTION

It is now conventional wisdom that the newspaper as we have come to know it for last century is over, or will be in a matter of years. The question is whether we're going to spend our time grieving over the loss, or whether we're going to use this moment as an opportunity to invent something even better. We're inevitably moving from the "paper of record" model to a something more distributed, a news ecosystem, but that doesn't mean we can't consciously define the shape of that system. So let's figure out what values we want to preserve from the older newspaper paradigm, and what values we want to improve upon -- and then let's go build it!

Get Ready, Get Set.....Go SXSW

Overall, I grade this panel as a C+. Really great stuff wasn't shared. They didn't go the extra mile to share the secrets.

Updates
2:50 pm. There was a great comment on metrics and costs. I'll have to review the audio later and repost.
2:40 pm. Outsourcing is now called "International Third-party Augmentation"
2:30 pm. Taking questions.
2:25 pm. Morrey arranges DIGG windows as to not see the comments because they make him mad.
2:19 pm. How to monetize. The Skittles experiment. Mob mentality. Users suck when they try to take over a site.
2:13 pm. Panel already out of hand. Having crowd noise battle with the next ballroom.

I'm in. For those of you still wanting to obtain a badge, the combo is 36-12-10 but don't all of you try to use it at one time. You'll jam the box.

Sitting in Ballroom C waiting for the User Generated Content: State of the Union to start。

PRESENTERS

• Dean Mccall - IdeaGin
• Stephen Newman - Mouth Watering Media
• Todd Morrey - Mosso: The Rackspace Cloud
• Wes Wilson - IncSpring
• Chris Tolles - Topix

DESCRIPTION

It's been a few years since YouTube and Flickr have dropped on the scene. Now almost everyone you know is creating content and posting it online. With the idea of User Generated Content now proven and the infrastructure in place where are we today? The same old questions keep popping up. "Where do you make money?" "How do you stand out?" and "Where do you find the time?" The panel will take a look at these questions and others as we explore the ever changing landscape of User Generated Content. This panel is sponsored by Ideagin.com

White Shoes Before Easter

You see a lot of things. For one, as soon as the first warm front makes it's way across the Colorado River you see two things; your neighbors blowing their leaf debris into their next door neighbor's lawn and two, women wearing white shoes. Clearly the rule states that white shoes and white belts, as belts should match the shoes, should remain in the upper reaches of the closet or in the sucky-sucky bag beneath the king-sized bed until EASTER. Easter being the diving line for wearing white. I don't think there's any dispute here. It's always been the rule so why when I go to the cafeteria today do I clearly see a woman with white shoes on?

I wondered about this as I do each and every year at this time. You know, the time right after the first warm front makes it's way from the Gulf Coast up to Central Texas. I thought it may have been similar to the time my daughter relayed the message from her math teacher that I, "learned it wrong." Ah yes, it's that new, new newest-new math. Even tough I arrive at the same answer in half the time that's not the point. The point is that I must follow the process of the newest math in order to perpetuate the sense of newness which is newest math. New math with which I learned how to go from point A to point B is soooooo old school and not tolerated one bit. And...they're not white shoes, they're the quality or state of the achromatic color of almost greatest lightness. They're new white which is perfectly acceptable before Easter.

Yes, thought so.

BTW, the same woman I saw with the new white shoes I also saw crack open a can of tuna and eat the entire six ounces of fish straight from the can. The rule of eating within the 45-minute window of opportunity post-workout comes into play but still. There's plenty of time to plate the fish. And if she didn't obey the rule of white, why is she in an obvious rush to obey the rule of post-workout consumption? Clearly, an enigma, wrapped in a quandary, and covered in a pre-Easter, snug-fitting riddle.

Home Gym

For the past two weeks I've become a workout hermit, choosing to stay at home rather than travel to the gym. And no, my latest nemesis the Golf Channel Watching Recumbent-Bike Dude didn't punch me in the gut for the remote while I was hefting a mighty curl although I suspect he pondered the thought once or twice. I've just decided I like the amenities at home better than at the gym. Better food, a shower massager, free to watch whatever I want and as loud as I want. As I wipe down all of the equipment I'm pretty sure there isn't any antibiotic-resistant staph infectious MRSA in my home gym. Not that there was any at the gym because it was only me and my nemesis working out there in the mornings.

Wiping down equipment is the courteous and healthy thing to do. It also builds huge karma points but I only saw once in my three years at the gym someone take the time to wipe down the equipment. According to Pat Crocker, DO, medical chief of staff for the Dell Children's Medical Center of Central Texas emergency department, during 2006, the emergency departments associated with the Seton Family of Hospitals confirmed about 3,700 MRSA infections. A nationwide increase in antibiotic-resistant staph infections, including some in the Central Texas area, may be of concern to area residents, especially those who participate in contact activities, such as sports, play or even hugging. There's either quite a lot of unprotected hugging going on or people just aren't wiping down their equipment.

I guess one could have a home gym even if they did a push up on a bare floor but that's really not the case now is it? You have to have stuff. Not necessarily big machines stuff but you need at least something that rolls under the bed or behind the couch. I've seen on of my neighbor's stuff. They use it to hang the kids bike on as well as the dog carrier. It used to be a treadmill. I went to Academy to get some more stuff to roll under the window seat in the loft. I picked up a pull up bar, two small dumbbells and a 35-pound dumbbell. These items were added to a couple stretch bands, a weighted ball and a Swiss ball, two 25-pound dumbbells and a recumbent bike. So I think that all contributes enough stuff to call what I have a home gym. Enough stuff that for the last two weeks I've felt I've had good workouts. And I've proven that riding the recumbent bike does not contribute to one's wanting to watch the Golf Channel. It must be due to something else like an early symptom of a staff infection, caused by someone not properly wiping down the bike after they were done.

The best thing about the home gym may be the fact that I can wear whatever I want. I can mix 90s flourescent orange shorts with an 80s plaid long sleeve shirt if I care to. I mean if it's good enough to walk the trash out to the curb, it's good enough to get my home gym groove on.